Fgura Liedna FC 1 – 6 Madliena Maleth Albion
Goalscorers:
Keenan Mason 7′, 16′, 18′, 31′, 64′
Samu Elmeri 54′
Assists:
Ethan Goodman x3
Pier Tiberia x 2
Owen Agius
Man of the Match:
Keenan Mason
Well, where to start? This weekend’s match between Maleth Albion and Fgura Liedna was one for the books – if only for the sheer comedy. Fgura strolled in with a grand total of 10 men to start, and naturally, we all got excited. Things kicked off well enough, with our Italian maestro Pier picking Fgura’s pocket and feeding Keenan, who shockingly kept it low for once, tucking it past the keeper. 1-0. Could it get any better?
Cue Clibbo, our captain and part-time sleeper agent, who handed Fgura an equalizer by sending an “intended” pass back to keeper Matt. Matt’s poppadom legs stood no chance as Fgura tapped it in to level things up. Then, just as we thought we might have a numbers advantage, Fgura’s backup arrived fashionably late – six gym-buffed players, all ready to make our lives difficult. But no matter! We stuck to the game plan, lobbing balls over the top, and wouldn’t you know it, it actually worked.
Our defence was on point throughout. Tommy, whose ego swelled after being called “Maldini” by the linesman (his words), put in a heroic shift. James cleared header after header, and Taylor—cigarette lungs and all—held up admirably for his season debut. And let’s give Clibbo credit—despite the mishap, he locked things down for the rest of the game.
The midfield trio of Ethan, Nelson, and Dillon put on a show too, pinging around some genuinely “sexy” tiki-taka and launching balls over the top with finesse. Dillon had to go off injured just before half-time with a gruesome eye injury, even as Fgura’s players protested, insisting it was nothing—even as blood poured from Dillon’s eye.
Keenan was on fire, somehow finding himself in the right spot over and over again, bagging a ridiculous five goals – and each one looking suspiciously like the last. At one point, Pier tore down the wing, whipped it back to the Canadian, and boom! Another Keenan goal, just for good measure. Ethan, our new signing, deserves a mention for delivering a free-kick cross that practically screamed, “Keenan, just tap this one in.”
Oh, and let’s not forget Samu, our other new face, who danced past a few defenders and slotted one home at the near post, leaving Fgura’s keeper looking around for answers.
Despite the laughs, we honestly could have bagged ten more goals if it weren’t for a few characters in our squad. Tom, bless him, couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat, while Keenan started feeling generous and passing instead of shooting. And Owen? Let’s just say he took a swing with his left foot. We’ll leave it at that.
In the end, Maleth dominated, secured a massive first win, and we’re sitting pretty at the top of the league thanks to our stellar goal difference. A week off before we face a real test against the Stars.