Madliena Maleth Albion v Ghaxaq Stars
Goalscorers:
Keenan Mason 18′
Assists:
Samu Elmeri
Man of the Match:
Oliver Fagerdahl
Scoreline: Maleth Albion 1-3 Ghaxaq Stars
Venue: Under the Wednesday Night Floodlights
Attendance: Our barber, his missus, and some guy Tommy met while spotting him at the gym.
The Build-Up
Fresh off a big win against Luqa, Maleth Albion found themselves under the floodlights, squaring up against the preseason favorites, Ghaxaq Stars. The Stars, a team rumored to feature ex-pros including one player who once had the unenviable task of marking Messi, arrived on the back of an embarrassing loss. The pre-match gossip, courtesy of our resident mole, MVB, revealed that most of their “paid professionals” (oops, unpaid enthusiasts) were mysteriously absent. Classic.
Maleth, however, kept things steady, making just a few changes. Big Irish Mark the Plumber returned to the fold at center-back after some time away, while the ever-deluded manager Sean Byrne dusted off the gloves to start in goal, testing his knee post-ACL surgery. And yes, he looked fantastic as always.
The First Half: A Canadian Eagle Soars and a Messi Marker’s Revenge
Maleth started nervously, as midfield maestro Ethan pulled up early with an Achilles issue. A swift reshuffle saw Luigi—Italy’s finest export since tiramisu—join the fray for his first start since the season opener. Ghaxaq Stars dominated possession, but Maleth’s defense stood resolute, marshaled by the imposing Irish Mark and a well-moisturized Sean Byrne.
Against the run of play, Maleth struck gold 20 minutes in. Slim Shady Samu threaded a perfectly weighted through ball to the Canadian Eagle, Keenan, who soared past the Stars’ keeper with frat-house precision. The celebrations were straight out of Alpha Delta Pi folklore.
Alas, joy was short-lived. A hopeful cross into the box saw the man who once marked Messi sneak a toe past Captain Clibbo and guide the ball into the net. Byrne, ever the vision of good looks, could only shrug gracefully. 1-1 at the break.
The Second Half: The Man Who Once Marked Messi Strikes Again (and Again)
The second half began as the first ended, with the Stars on the front foot and Maleth’s defense under siege. Irish Mark the Plumber and left-back Oli were defying the odds, but Byrne’s modeling career was about to face another cruel twist. A free-kick on the edge of the box floated deliciously into the danger zone, and who else but the Messi-marker rose highest to head it home. Byrne, in a scene that could grace any magazine cover, stood helpless.
The third goal had a touch of comedy, as an unlucky slip at the back saw Andy Murray lookalike Tom Atko attempt a header, only for gravity and his 5’2” frame to betray him. The Messi-marker, clearly playing like he had a point to prove, generously squared the ball to their man on £100-a-match—an outrageous sum for amateur football—to tap into an empty net. Byrne, magnificent as always, could only shake his head in disbelief.
The Final Whistle
Maleth thought they’d found a lifeline late on, as Keenan bundled the ball home only for the referee to call it back for a foul. The team trudged off 3-1 losers, but spirits remained high. With Balzan Youths up next, there’s no time for dwelling.